I sometimes wonder why do we
have three tenses in English
language...Past, Present and
Future? What if there had been only one, i.e., just Present !! Then there would have been an imaginary
world where all would have been living every moment of life. There would be
more joy, more glory, more fun as there would have been no ugly thoughts of
past troubling us and no worry of an uncertain future. Because the fact of the
matter is, more often than not, we are either tied down with our past life or
crying over our ambiguous and uncertain future. We all have been victim to the
above mentioned diseases and some of us have to pay a huge price in order to
get over them. Something similar happened with Aryan too.
Aryan was a very jovial, merry-making and enthusiastic guy who would always
stay happy and believed in spreading happiness. He was the only son of his
parents and right from his childhood he had been a brilliant student. He has
always been good in co-curricular activities too; an obedient student; a
disciplined son and a beloved friend. So, all in all, an ideal boy. But right
from his childhood he had a problem of haunting himself by thinking of the
past. Very often he will slip into the dirty lanes of yesteryear memories and
would hurt himself awfully.
Every rare scolding he ever got from his parents, every little brawl he had
with any of his pal right from his childhood, every punishment he received from
his teachers, every failure he faced in his life….all such events are clutched
to a small room in his brain. And then every step he would take for future
would be after considering the past. Henceforth, Aryan was always very skeptical in his every decision. Though most of them paid off, there
was one which hit him hard…very-very hard !!
One fine day he met Shikha in his office. It was the 4 months post
joining ITC, Mumbai. She was pretty, possessed silken long hair, dark black
eyes, fair complexion and extremely talkative. Soon they became friends. Shikha
was very-very tom-boyish and had several male friends. Unlike Aryan, she was
very frank, open minded, bindaas, and was very comfortable hugging every
friend of hers. She was also fond of clicking photos. And she would love to
have it clicked with Aryan. She knew, Aryan would shy but never say No to her.
So in the first 6 months, Shikha & Aryan had too many pics already clicked.
Well talking of her best friends in the office, among males, it was only Aryan and Vishal.Vishal was Shikha’s boss to
whom she would have to report every day and also the person who recruited her.
Initially Shikha would spend her entire day talking to both of them. But the three were never found together. If she has lunch with Aryan, the evening tea would be with
Vishal and vice-versa. In the mean while, Aryan got busy in a new project and
was transferred to Pune. And slowly Shikha started finding her comfort zone in
Vishal.
Both Shikha & Aryan were fond of listening to old songs. And post his transfer
to Pune, Aryan would every week send a mail to Shikha enriched with the lyrics
of old melodies. Shikha would love it and would thank him with a note of “Love you, Miss you”attached with it. Aryan knew it was matter of
another 2 months and then he would be back to Shikha, his best (girl) friend.
It was the midnight of 13th February, 2013 when Aryan messaged Shikha,
“hey, wassup dear? Kal ke kya plans hai…..going out with Vishal??” Shikha
replied “Hey !! Stop that…me and Vishal are just friends. Do you get it? Don’t
ever tease me with his name. Anyways, I am going to Mysore for my cousin’s
wedding. Will be back by 15th night and will also get gifts for you. Me on the bus right now.”
Aryan, “Heyy are you going alone…take care!” Shikha, “Yaaa…chill. Me not a
small girl. Vishal came to drop me. My family will reach there directly and
then we will have loads of fun. You too take care. Bye.”
Days went by and the two kept talking on cell,
sharing messages on fb, gtalk…even doing video chats at times….and all this
finally led to the growth of small seedlings of love in the heart of Aryan.
Finally Aryan was back to Mumbai on 3rd of March. Vishal was in Bengaluru then.
Meeting after 5 months, Vishal & Shikha hugged each other. It displayed the
warmth of their friendship. But Shikha was upset with few things. She told
Aryan that she had a fight with her mom, a duel with brother and also some
issues with Vishal. Aryan, as always, consoled her and took her for an outing.
On 5th of march, Aryan
expressed his feelings for Shikha. He was very nervous as he was risking his 9
month of friendship while proposing.
But Shikha was glad to hear it. She said….you should have told me earlier. I
would have been much more happy. But since it was early days, the two decided
to continue the journey as friends and know each other in a much better way
before getting into any kind of relationship. The next four days were
completely fun-filled. It was all rosy and sunshine. Probably the only four
days in a trot when no past memories touched Aryan at all. In the evening of 9th march, while sipping cold coffee in a cafeteria Aryan
said, “Hey Shikha, why don’t you show me the pics of your cousin’s wedding”.
Shikha frowned and was a bit taken aback. Aryan said, “oye! Kya ho gaya…laa
apna phone de”. Shikha said, “ well Aaru, I didn't go to Mysore.”
Aryan, “ What???”. Shikha, “Ya...I went to Goa for 2 days with Vishal to
celebrate Valentines Day. We are in relationship for last 4 months. I am sorry.
But I promise, we never got physical….”. It never mattered to Aryan anymore.
For Aryan, it was all over that night. Its been 2
years….and this past wasn't meant
to pass. Later on Vishal
broke up with Shikha. Vishal got a better job in Bangalore. Shikha got married
to a businessman in 6 months. Everyone moved on with time….but Aryan got tied
down to that horrendous night…9/3/2013. He didn't even attend
Shikha’s wedding. Instead gifted her a mail,
Mubarake tumhe ki tum…kisike noor ho gaye,
Kisike itne paas ho…ki sabse door ho gaye !!
He
kept living the life of a dead guy for another couple of years. Nothing made
him ecstatic or angry or sad anymore. Having lost all his emotions from the
heart…he just carried a mind that kept visiting the brutal past.
That ugly room had made more space for itself by now and it made Aryan realize the power of unlucky 13 because “14/2/2013”
adds up to 1+4+2+2+0+1+3=13.He was dying every moment, everyday. He kept calling Shikha a
lot…she never picked up his call. He sent her numerous messages on fb….and she
just replied once saying “Please don’t contact me anymore. I am happy with my
new family. You please move on in life. I am sure your destiny has planned
something good for you.” Finally Aryan decided to end it all. He was miserably
sick and tired with this life. Aryan was no more Aryan now. Before bidding
adieu, his last mail to Shikha read….
Paas aayie ki hum nahi aayenge baar-baar,
Baahen gale me daal ke hum ro le zaar-zaar..
Aankhon se fir ye pyar ki barsaat ho naa ho,
Shayad fir is janam me mulakaat ho na ho..
@ Debashish
Aryan sent the mail, sat with his ipad in hands,starring at the mail, wondering if ever there would come a reply. He knew, that it wouldn't happen. Helpless and frustrated, in deep pain he decided to do what he had thought of, to "end it all". He came out in the balcony, looked at the beautiful dark sky, beautifully covered with mysterious clouds. It was one of the most beautiful skies he had seen. It took him 2 years back when 'it' all started and 'everything' ended. And how the two years went by. He was deeply unhappy with himself. At first, he thought he would keep his grief to himself and wear a fake smile and keep everybody around him happy. But soon he became so frustrated and tired that he could not differentiate between what would make his close ones happy and what would disturb them. His Mummy and papa gradually got aware that he is in deep depression. His friends did not enjoy his hollow and lifeless company, they could feel the pain behind his laughter and emptiness in his every expression. Soon he became the source of sorrow for the ones whose happiness used to be the sole motive of his life. There was no passion in the pain. It was just eating up his very being, gradually like a termite eats up the wood. He was frustrated, he could not let himself free, he was bounded in the close space of his memories. He was suffocating. He could not breathe. Suddenly a cold breeze touched him and brought back him back to the present. What did he get? What was he trying to prove? Why did he do this to himself and his family? What if he had looked at the romantic sky daily? He had gone to acting workshops on weekends, played his drums, chatted with friends on the long night drives with soothing music, watched hundreds of movies,that being his favourite hobby. May be he had actually left his job to join the theater full time, that being his childhood dream. May be he had approached that simple girl in his office who never used to talk much, finding hard to adjust to the new office and the metropolitan culture. May be he had asked her out for a walk and then for a coffee and so on. May be he had found the right person. May be he was having a silly fight with her over some trivial thing after which he would please her with his tricky funny lovable ideas just in the living room beside the balcony in which he was waiting for a reply that would never come. Had the two years not been lost over an accident? If he had not refused to open up? Had he not chosen to stay back and believe what his mind was telling him? Had he breathed in some fresh air, had he risen once at the time of sunrise and let the morning do its magic on him?
ReplyDeleteHe went to his ipad, took it to the balcony, deleted all her contacts after telling her to go to hell. He had lots to do now, and this time did not want to waste a single minute. His life was waiting for him, for so long.
Twist in the tale !!
ReplyDeleteNicely re-edited Pranshu. A genuine try to have a positive ending...
But then every story doesn't always have a "Yashraj Film" ending dear !!
Come out of movies.... Open your eyes wide, the reality is waiting to be changed!
ReplyDeleteOhkay....
ReplyDeleteBut Pranshu...it seems that this time the wait for the reality to change is just too long and unending!!